What are typical fears?
There are many different types of fears that we may experience at different moments in our lives. Fears are usually related to the challenges and experiences we are going through at the moment, so they can vary a lot. Some typical fears that most people have at some point are fears of loud noises, strangers or unfamiliar people, storms or other natural events, separation from parents, supernatural beings, diseases or body injuries, violence, tests or school performance, physical appearance, and social embarrassment.
We may express our fears in a variety of different ways. Some of them might involve crying, nervousness, freezing, clinging to someone close that we trust, or avoiding what we fear. Sometimes, we don't recognize that our fears are excessive or irrational, and we rarely report discomfort about them. However, most of the times when they are present, they can last a while and cause a series of physical manifestations, such as feeling our heart race, shortness of breath, dizziness, etc.
When should I pay special attention to fears?
Although fears, in general, are common, they should not result in worries that are uncontrollable or prevent us from participating in activities we would otherwise enjoy. For instance, it is typical for us to fear an important test or project at school but it is not typical for us to feel sick about it or not go to school to avoid it. It is also typical for us to fear some social situations with people we don't know yet, but it is not typical for that to prevent us from participating in social activities.
What can I do if I struggle with excessive fears?
It can be hard and frustrating to deal with excessive fears. If you understand that you struggle with them, there are a few things you may try:
- Ask a trusted adult for help. Trusted adults are usually our caregivers, other family members, or someone else who is responsible for taking care of us. Let your trusted adults know about your difficulties. They can be helpful for assisting you and helping you get any additional help you may need.
- Understand how fear works. When we face or think of something we are scared of an alarm goes off in our brains. This alarm tells our whole body to prepare to face or run away from the threat we are perceiving. When that happens, we tend to feel our heartbeat increasing, our breath shortening, and our muscles tensing. There are times when this alarm goes off by mistake and there is no actual threat present. A lot of times our fears are excessive and unrealistic, so confronting fearful situations allows distress to decrease over time.
- Whenever possible, prepare yourself to face the thing you are most afraid of. Facing our fears is the best way to make them feel smaller. If you are worried about attending a new school, for example, you may arrange to go there before the first day to explore and get familiar with the place ahead of time. Or, if you have an important school project, try practicing the way you are going to present it to your class.
- Set reasonable goals to deal with something fearful. For instance, if you usually fear staying home alone, you could agree with your family to gradually stay for longer periods at home during the day so, eventually, you can stay for longer periods.
- Remember that change takes time and fear is a very powerful feeling. It is important to work to stay consistent in facing your fears. Most of the time it takes time and hard work.
- Try to not avoid the things you are scared of. Avoiding your fears probably makes the day run a bit more smoothly, but this serves to reinforce your anxiety and make it stronger over time. Avoidance does not help us to learn how to face fears or tolerate discomfort. Rather, learning how to manage fears can help to build confidence and independence, leading us to feel more in control and less afraid.
If you have already tried some or most of these suggestions and the problems you are facing persist, it may be time to ask a trusted adult to seek out professional support.
Fears that are too frequent, intense, present in many different contexts, discrepant from those experienced by people the same age, and that negatively interfere with our daily lives may indicate the possibility of Specific Phobia.
What kind of professional support can be sought out?
It is not unusual for us to feel embarrassed, inadequate, or guilty if we are struggling with excessive fears. But, if you think you are facing this difficulty, support and guidance are available now.
Pediatricians or family physicians can help to address initial concerns and refer to specialized professionals. Also, whenever possible, a consultation with a mental health professional may be helpful.
The public system provides services through the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) and Centers of Multidisciplinary Assessment, Counseling, and Support (KEDASY).
Where to find more information
If you have any questions about what has been discussed in this short guide, you can find additional information at [program website]. Specific, detailed, and clinical information on Specific Phobia can be found at [clinical shortguide at the program website].
If you want to know more about the closest available services for educational and public health systems for children and adolescent assistance across the country, go to our Services Mapping webpage here.
