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“Thank you for telling me. You are not in trouble. We will work this out together.”

What is common?

• A child or teenager may tell the story in pieces. Embarrassment, fear, or uncertainty can make it hard to explain everything at once.
• Strong feelings can continue after the contact stops. Blocking an account may end the messages but not the fear, shame, anger, or worry about school.
• Young people sometimes make mistakes and still need protection. Sharing too much, replying, or breaking a family rule does not make threats, exploitation, or bullying their fault.
• Not every unpleasant exchange is an emergency. The key questions are whether the young person is safe, whether the contact continues, and how daily life is being affected.

When should I be concerned?

• There is a direct safety threat. Someone has threatened harm, demanded secrecy, money, or images, knows the young person’s location, or wants to meet.
• An adult or much older person is involved. Sexualized contact, grooming, pressure, or attempts to move the conversation to a private channel require prompt action.
• The situation is spreading. Images, rumors, impersonation, or humiliating posts are being shared across accounts or into school life.
• Daily functioning has changed. Sleep problems, school avoidance, withdrawal, anxiety, low mood, or fear of using a device persists.
• There is concern about self-harm or harm to others. Take any suggestion, threat, or plan seriously and seek urgent help.

A note about age

Age rules differ by country and platform, and they are changing. Follow the rules where you live; even when an account is permitted, readiness still matters. Online harm can happen at any age through games, group chats, messaging, video, social media, or school platforms. Help first; return to any broken rule after immediate safety is addressed.

What can I do to help?

Use this six-step response

1. Stay calm, listen, and reassure. Thank them for telling you, take the concern seriously, and let them explain in their own words. Tell them they are not in trouble and that you will help.
2. Check immediate safety. Ask about threats, secrecy, money, images, location, plans to meet, and any suggestion of self-harm.
3. Preserve only what is needed. Record usernames, dates, links, and relevant messages before blocking. Do not repeatedly reopen, download, forward, or circulate harmful material. Follow local guidance for intimate images.
4. Stop the contact and report it. Block and report the account or content, change passwords if needed, use two-factor authentication, and review privacy and location settings. If an intimate image of a minor has been shared, use the recognized reporting or removal service available where you live.
5. Bring in the right adults. Contact the school when peers or school life are involved. Use specialist, child-protection, or police support for threats, extortion, stalking, sexual pressure, or contact from an adult.
6. Agree the next steps. Ask what they would like to happen, explain what you think is necessary for safety, preserve as much choice and privacy as possible, and check in again within a day or two.

What changes with age?

• For younger children, take a more active role. Review the account or conversation together, adjust settings, block or report, and involve the school or another trusted adult. Explain each step.
• For teenagers, involve them in decisions whenever safety allows. Ask what outcome they want and preserve privacy and choice. Take direct action for threats, blackmail, stalking, sexual pressure, contact from an adult, or immediate danger.

Avoid responses that may close the door

• Do not automatically confiscate the device. Restrict access when continued contact creates risk, but explain why so disclosure does not feel like punishment.
• Do not retaliate or post publicly. Avoid angry messages, public accusations, or contacting another family in the heat of the moment.
• Do not force repeated retelling. Write down essential facts once and avoid making the young person repeatedly review distressing material.
• Do not make it their fault. Focus first on safety and support; teaching and repair can follow.

What can I say?

“You did the right thing by telling me.” “Let’s think about what you would like to happen next. I also need to ask a few safety questions, and I will explain any step I believe is necessary.” “I will not share this more widely than we need to keep you safe.”

Get urgent help

Contact emergency or appropriate local safeguarding services immediately if there is imminent danger, a plan to meet, credible threats, extortion, sexual exploitation, or concern that the young person may harm themselves or someone else.

Professional support

Arrange professional support if distress, sleep problems, school avoidance, withdrawal, anxiety, low mood, or fear of using devices continues. A calm follow-up matters even when the immediate online problem appears resolved.